Those are some mighty big shoes to fill there, Ms. Page

I have not been an ideal employee this year.  As a matter of fact, I have apparently tried my damnedest to make sure Mr. Lloyd-Jones's "Mindy gets fired" Facebook prank actually comes true.  Despite my time and best efforts, Hagwon Director propositioned my services for another 6 months today.  To say I was stunned was an understatement.  My first three months of Kindergarten were hell -- my gang of four were a total snoozefest; I was practically in tears of frustration and boredom by most day's end.  So I made a silent pact with myself to abscond in the night after an epic trip to China.  But then shit just kept coming up -- I fell in love with Blue Class, Grandpa J and I started hosting epically ridiculous Sunday dinners, and I actually quit hating my job.

As a matter of fact, I love my job.  So here, in no particular order, are the Top 10 Reasons (insert mystery hagwon name here) is Lucky to Have Me:

10. I have expanded my students' vocabulary by tenfold.  It now includes, on any given day: classy, bonkers, chile (as in: chile, you makin' me crazy today), triskaidekaphobia, shart (yes, it's what you think it is), vomit, tautology, and brown chicken, brown cow. That last one they like to do in a call and answer style.
*UPDATE* I can't believe I left out MYOB and Booyah. MYOB serves a very important purpose as a teacher: it empowers students and maintains my sanity as I no longer have to put out retarded fires such as "Teacher, Alicia not do her homework!" Plus, I love hearing kids turn to the tattler and chant "MYOB."

9. "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit."  My students dutifully repeat this any time one of them starts to complain about not getting a desired object/color/seat/any other random crap kids fight about.

8. Arriving ten minutes late to work, if done consistently everyday, is technically on time, right?

7. Blue Class does a mean rendition of the Gnarls Barkley classic, Crazy:
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6. My ability to create elaborate and expensive art projects with the full expectation that they will come to fruition:

In may have been a pain in the ass, but I'm so glad my peanut butter play-doh dreams were realized.  Suck it, Boss Lady.

5. 101 ways to say how are you?: what's up? what's the haps? what's crack-a-lackin'? what's shakin' bacon? how's it hangin'? what's the word, yo? how's trix? Yes, I speak like a thirteen year old boy, what of it?!

4. I will fight for what I want.  I will bitch and complain and wreak havoc if necessary.  I will make you see my side.  I will do it with a smile and I will win.  I'm not sure why you kept trying...

3.  Consonant -le syllable: quite possibly the most important syllable, ever.

2. Trans-Pacific pen pals.  Thanks to one Miss Silva and her class of super stoked 5th graders for enlightening my often close-minded, sometimes xenophobic group of third graders.

1. I am The Yeryn Whisperer.