As a matter of fact, I love my job. So here, in no particular order, are the Top 10 Reasons (insert mystery hagwon name here) is Lucky to Have Me:
10. I have expanded my students' vocabulary by tenfold. It now includes, on any given day: classy, bonkers, chile (as in: chile, you makin' me crazy today), triskaidekaphobia, shart (yes, it's what you think it is), vomit, tautology, and brown chicken, brown cow. That last one they like to do in a call and answer style.
*UPDATE* I can't believe I left out MYOB and Booyah. MYOB serves a very important purpose as a teacher: it empowers students and maintains my sanity as I no longer have to put out retarded fires such as "Teacher, Alicia not do her homework!" Plus, I love hearing kids turn to the tattler and chant "MYOB."
9. "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit." My students dutifully repeat this any time one of them starts to complain about not getting a desired object/color/seat/any other random crap kids fight about.
8. Arriving ten minutes late to work, if done consistently everyday, is technically on time, right?
7. Blue Class does a mean rendition of the Gnarls Barkley classic, Crazy:
6. My ability to create elaborate and expensive art projects with the full expectation that they will come to fruition:
In may have been a pain in the ass, but I'm so glad my peanut butter play-doh dreams were realized. Suck it, Boss Lady.
5. 101 ways to say how are you?: what's up? what's the haps? what's crack-a-lackin'? what's shakin' bacon? how's it hangin'? what's the word, yo? how's trix? Yes, I speak like a thirteen year old boy, what of it?!
4. I will fight for what I want. I will bitch and complain and wreak havoc if necessary. I will make you see my side. I will do it with a smile and I will win. I'm not sure why you kept trying...
3. Consonant -le syllable: quite possibly the most important syllable, ever.
2. Trans-Pacific pen pals. Thanks to one Miss Silva and her class of super stoked 5th graders for enlightening my often close-minded, sometimes xenophobic group of third graders.
1. I am The Yeryn Whisperer.