"Dear Treasure Valley elementary schools,
Please hire me. I'm awesome. And if I can't have my own classroom, I'd be more than happy to accept a para position. I just want a job, in a school, working with kids.
The writer of said update shall remain nameless, but suffice it to say they are educated (two undergrad degrees), experienced (hello, americorps grad!) and altogether awesome. If they can't find a job, then I'm screwed with a capital S.
I think I'll keep my cushy 9-5 hagwon gig for another 8 months. God I hope I don't regret it...