TP is a right, NOT a privilege!

Dear America,

In these tough economical times it is somewhat hard to find things for which to be thankful, especially after living in a foreign country that provided solid health care, pension, and a steady paycheck. But tonight, America, you really did me a solid. In a crowded bar, full of drunken chicks and karaoke amateurs, your bathroom toilets did not overflow ONCE! And you provided not one, but two rolls of toilet paper. And PBRs were less than $3. OMG, it's as if the heavens opened up and rained good fortune upon me and my drunken brethren. That, and I got to stalk my secret crush, Josh Gross.

So yeah, Friday night WIN.

Stay classy, America.

Love always,
Mindy

All I Really Need to Know, I Learned in Summer School for Adjudicated Juveniles

• When the end of days happens and our life blood, the sun, finally burns out, we will only need to turn up the dial on our heaters in order to survive. Apparently things like photosynthesis and the food chain and, well, HEAT, are not necessarily essential to life on Earth.
• The big toe is the captain of the foot.
• Penguins do not separate themselves into Bloods and Crips.
• Papier mache snakes and papier mache blunts look surprisingly similar. And requiring a google search for "brown snake with red head" will not stop students from crafting the world's largest blunt whilst at school.

And speaking of crafts...

•  15 year old boys are apparently misinformed about the female genitalia. At least one of them believes our ladyparts include teeth.  I've never used the term "vagina dentata" so many times in my entire life.
• "Dude" and "Dawg" are appropriate ways to address your teacher.
• There are no beavers at the Boise Zoo, animal or otherwise...
• Not all of America's youth are apathetic, ill-informed assholes. At least one of them warranted the nickname "Wikipedia".
• Krista Beck will henceforth be known as "that hot teacher lady".
• When students are afraid to try, say, welding, they will get all rule-abiding on your ass and ask to sign a waiver. There are no waivers in Summer School for Adjudicated Juveniles.
• It is perfectly acceptable to teach students swear words in a foreign language.
• Apparently it IS humanly possibly to eat an entire bag of Sara Lee cinnamon raisin bagels in one sitting.
• Dr. Pepper is the breakfast of champions.

And the number one thang I learned in Summer School for Adjudicated Juveniles:

• No, you will never use quadratic equations in your adult life. Yes, you still have to learn them.

Here's to five, yes FIVE summers with the cream of the crop.

I'm BAAAAACK!

*Knock*  *Knock*

Hello? Hello..?

*KNOCKKNOCKKNOCK*

Oh, it's you. Long time no see, eh? You've missed me, you say. Been wondering what I've been up to since last we met?

Hmmph.

Well, it's been a long, uneventful four months, but I am officially BACK. As of today, I will again try mah hand at blogging. But not right now. Right now I must resume my duties cleaning out the pantry and consuming every Law and Order SVU on cable TV. This is also known as "house-sitting".

Stay tuned...

The Grass is NOT Always Greener...

Screw you, WordPress.

My foray into the world of WordPress was fleeting. Once I imported this here blog and discovered I'd lost videos like this and this and of course, this, I realized there was no way I could abandon all my hard work. (And by hard work, I obviously mean recording my students fellating popsicles and imitating enraged felines whilst sitting on my ass.) Besides, all those gadgets and widgets and themes were just too fucking big city for this girl. I'll take my small town Blogger with her simple themes any day.

I'm sorry I cheated on you, Blogger. I promise to blog with you, and only you, as long as we both shall live.

And also, I'm officially blogging from America!*



*So long as I'm gainfully employed with kick ass health insurance within the next 60 days.

Let's take a trip down memory lane, shall we...

Today, I miss my *Korean Life.

 Sperm and egg kimchi bokumbap

Makin' banana bread at Stone's Kitchen 

Social sleeping in Pyeongchon 

Casey the Spy 

Chucks at Weekend at Sunny's 

Another lifetime at Uncle Don's Bar 

Go Stop at Gwangali Beach 

That's "gracamoie" to you 

Fried chicken nuggets and tater tots at 4AM? Of course. 

Lotus in my 'hood 

The time I killed Marty at Sunday Funday 

Mustaches for Dawn and me 

The Family Mart snowman 

Raiden the Spiderkitty! 

Taylor Swift at Olympic Stadium 

So close! 

Jamie's mango vagina. Bus rides are boring, y'all.

All these pics were taken with my shitty LG Compact Tomb (yes, that's its real name) over the course of three years.

*I don't really miss Korea, just my life there. A fine distinction...

Odds and ends

I'm not in university, but damn, it FEELS like I am. I've been studying like a mad woman for the past five weeks for a job that I kinda *really* want.

See, the day I stepped foot in America, I scored an interview with the Boise Police Department. I know, don't let your jealousy overwhelm you. Anyway, because the county is super efficient, they set the interview SIX WEEKS out. Mayhaps they knew that although my University diploma says I'm well-versed in the workings of the American Criminal Justice system, at this point I'm more familiar with Konglish Interpretation and Charades with six year olds. Anyway, I've been trying my damnedest to use this time wisely (and we all we know I usually squander my free time here). In the past five weeks I have:

• Comprehensively reviewed Idaho domestic violence laws, stalking statutes, and rape statutes. Did you know a man can't legally be raped in Idaho? Just a bit of food for thought...
• Reviewed Idaho criminal, civil, and juvenile court procedure. Did you know that when a defendant is found "not guilty" their bond is exonerated or returned? I always wondered what happened to all that cheddah.
• Compiled a comprehensive list of all community resources available to victims of domestic abuse and sexual assault. Did you know the WCA offers *free* domestic violence and sexual assault orientations to the public?
• Attended an informational tour of the Women's and Children's Alliance. Did you know these are offered once a month and are totally free to the public?

AND,

• Rode along with my Favorite Boise Police Officer as he patrolled the valley last Saturday night. Did you know my ex-boyfriend has been arrested no less than a dozen times in the past three years? (Okay, so that one's not really educational so much as it is oddly satisfying.)

The rest of this week is wicked busy, as I have an un-related job interview on Wednesday; a domestic violence orientation that same evening; a tour of FACES, a local family advocacy and education service center; and an observation at a domestic battery hearing. In addition, I've started writing down potential questions and answers so that I am fully prepared for this damn interview.

Wish me luck!

NEVER be lenient with chickens...

This is what I've learned on the Urban Farm, more widely known as the Armagost/Jones home. My friends are vacationing in Korea and Japan, and while they're off galavanting in the Far East, I've been relegated to the task of urban farming. Most days this only includes feeding and watering five chickens, two cats, and one three-legged dog. But there's been a mutinous air about the farm recently. Stella, the black and white hen who obviously rules the roost, somehow convinced the other chickens to break free! So yesterday, in the blustery rain, I chased five chickens in circles, trying to regale them back into the coop. With all the feisty hens safely pent-up, the sun broke through and this is what I got:

Also, I took all these shots with my brand-spanking-used Sony Cybershot. I bought it off a guy on the street for $45. Not bad, eh?!