Coming to you all the way from Blue Class is Jeffrey Han, Dumb Blonde Thorn in My Side. Seriously, this kid fell from the Tree of Common Sense and missed EVERY damn branch on the way down. I can actually see the hamster standing on the wheel. But sometimes Jeffrey pulls a perfectly cut gem outta his ass; one with so much clarity and insight, I am compelled to bow down before him and kiss his stupid little "indoor shoes". (BTW, what is up with the whole "indoor shoe" thang, Korea? It's not like teachers or staff or parents take off their shoes in our halls or classrooms. What's the big fuss? Mindless Drone-ism, methinks.)
Anyway, without further ado, I bring you:
The Strangest Thing I Have Seen
By Jeffrey Han
Something strange I have seen is a monkey. Two months ago, my family and I went to the animals park in Everland. We watched a group of Japanese monkeys. Some of the monkeys have red puffy butts. It looked so disgusting and dirty. I thought they got a Swine flue or cancer. I couldn't leave because they were so weird. Finally, we found a staff and ask him. He answered when they wants to marry the male, their butt gets big. It was so strange I have seen.
He's right. That's pretty damn weird.
My second offering comes from Ashley Kwan. If it were at all possible to bottle up sass, spunk, and pure unadulterated personality, she'd be the fucking Daddy Warbucks of that shit. She is amazing. Today, she told Stephanie that Blue Class was gonna take Green Class "down to the town", as in downtown. She's an epic shit talker. It's like she was birthed from mine own sarcastic, snarky loins. Oh, and she's got some wicked vocab application skillz. (Of note: compromise, a word Blue Class knows well.)
For your reading pleasure:
The Strangest Thing I Have Seen
By Ashley Kwan
I saw something strange it was a turtle with two faces! I saw that in Coex auwkqureaum (Aquarium. This is why English is hard.) and I saw a snake with two faces too!! I thought it was a monster or an eliain, but it was not a monster or an eliain it was an animal. I am worried that the two faces on the turtle don't compromise! Because when one face goes to the left, the other one is going to the right! Then they will have a fight and that will happen to the snakes! I think the snakes will bite each other. I was surprized when I saw them!
"Surprised" is an understatement, child. That is just gross.
On a serious note (I know), Blue Class has been honing their writing skills over the past seven months. They have been working diligently to development their "writer's voice". We have practiced informative writing, summary writing, and enough personal narratives to last me a damn century. But it wasn't until last week when Casey offered them the famous Halloween prompt, "In a deep dark forest there was a deep dark house..." that I realized just how far they've come. Their journals were full of super sentences; full of details and imagery; full of imagination. I was astonished.
I do not fancy myself a writer; It is a hobby I enjoy, and if I happen to entertain a few along the way, well then, fuckin' ay. But I do think it is important. At least as important as speaking and listening and definitely more important than most of the rote memorization hagwons cram down my kids' throats. I guess what I'm getting at is that they're getting it! and I couldn't be prouder.*
*I actually typed "pruder". I prolly could be pruder.