So long, farewell.

Goodbye kimchi and 'anyung haseo' and 'kamsahamnida'.  Goodbye Baekjae Samgyetang and Anyang Ilshim Gyohae and OK!  Goodbye kimchi bokumbop and chamchi and bibimbap and mekju, juseyo. Goodbye girls in shorts and tights and heels and man bags and Chucks and bowl cuts.  Goodbye hot Korean boys and giggly Korean girls. Goodbye efficient public transportation and crowded subways and social sleepers. Goodbye cheap cell phone service and public television watching (even in the movie theater bathrooms!) and street food and 700 won bus rides.  Goodbye kick ass Korean rest stops and express buses and weekend getaways and festivals and national monuments.  Goodbye 'Dokdo is a Korea land' and melamin and crazy cows.  Goodbye acid rain and tiny cardigans and fold-up bikes and Mona Risa.  Goodbye ajummas and ajoshis and visors and urban hikers and playing with yer feet at dinner.  Goodbye communal dining and banchan and "service-uh" and the Sound of Vitality. Goodbye street socks and subway shopping and free size and no last call and peanut butter squid.  Goodbye panda hats and skinny jeans and sexual ambiguity and androgyny.  Goodbye holding hands and public nudity and love motels. Goodbye precocious and inquisitive students, "Teacher but," chewies, and Best in Class.  Goodbye Yura and Dongwook. Goodbye Take It and Make it Rain and Matt's Abs and Good for Wellbeing and Nice-uh.  Goodbye public drunkenness, feral cats, bench "nappers", stripes, Paris Baguette and Tous Les Jours.  Goodbye GS and Family Mart and Buy the Way.  Goodbye dorm life and 300 square feet and walking to work.  Goodbye shameless vanity and Krazy Korean mothers and absent Korean fathers.  Goodbye Friday morning coffee run and Weekend at Sunny's. Goodbye floor heat, "shit, shower, shave AND cook", wet naps, and sun porches. Goodbye whitebeaters and encoves and spics and rotator cups. (Love you Ellen.)  Goodbye "Nice to meet you" and "Where are you prom?" Goodbye ramen and Binch and Choco Digest cookies.  Goodbye looking like a high class call girl on a Sunday afternoon. Goodbye shiny suits and "Koreanized" shoes and minifridges.  Goodbye Wonder Girls and Girl's Generation and Rain and JYP and K-Pop ripoffs. Goodbye Clubby Bar Slang and Black Music Bar and Psycho and Uncle Don's and Beer Valley and convenience store drinking. Goodbye Anyang and Hongdae and Insadong and Gangnam and Myeong Dong and the stop of no return: Namtaeryang.  Goodbye Itaewon and Hooker Hill and Gecko's and The Red Door. Goodbye amazing nugae bars and rice cooker cakes and egg bread and red pepper paste. Goodbye B-Boys and dance offs and emo glasses.  Goodbye Korean snacking. (That one really deserves its own post.)  Goodbye Norae bangs and PC bangs and hookah.  Goodbye tiny trashcans and squatters and "one shot" and rock, scissor, paper. Goodbye Kim and Park and Lee.  Goodbye napping bosses, impromptu public photo shoots and 5000 won avocados. Goodbye groupthink and homogeneity and Lee Myung Bak and nationalism.

Goodbye Koreasoning.

Hello Taco Bell and dryers.