Thirty days, twenty... six(?) blog posts later, and I'm finally finished. But before I go, let me leave you with this delicious morsel of goodness.
Monday morning this snack and lunch menu graced my desk.
Click to enlarge, I promise you'll be rewarded!
Most days I like to play a game called Lunch Roulette which usually involves me ducking into the teachers room, rubbing my hands together and exclaiming, "Pizza again?!" All the Korean teachers laugh as I eyeball what is inevitably a lunch made up of kimchi/rice/murky soup/odd foreign vegetables/mystery meat.
Enter the gambling: Do I wager against my better judgement and wolf down the mystery meat, risking a potential wicked tummy ache later, OR do I fold and hightail it to the Family Mart for a lunch of a Coke and Snickers? (Occasionally I take option number three: edit the existing lunch, which today meant I had corn salad with mayo and krab, and a bowl of rice. Delicious, no?)
Having this menu is seriously fucking with my head, mostly because now I have nothing to look forward to. I like to be surprised. I like the mystery of not knowing which days are spaghetti or dong kas (perfectly acceptable lunches), and which days are quail's egg in ketchup or stir fried baby octopus (so obviously NOT acceptable lunches.)
However, it does afford me the opportunity to make fun of Google translate. For example:
1. Monday 6/28: boiled dry fool fish
2. Monday 7/12: environmentally apple milk
3: Monday 7/19: anchovy panbroiling and yellowish overripe cucumbers salad
(Looks like our cooks have def got a case of the Mondays.)
4. Friday 7/16: meat rice gruel... just like in prison
Also on the menu: fiied fish, fiied shrimp, rice punch, and fish sausage soup. Don't be too jealous.
6.29.2010
6.28.2010
And one more for good measure
After a thoroughly enjoyable evening of Papa John's, True Blood, and manicures I logged onto the Facebook to find this status update:
The writer of said update shall remain nameless, but suffice it to say they are educated (two undergrad degrees), experienced (hello, americorps grad!) and altogether awesome. If they can't find a job, then I'm screwed with a capital S.
I think I'll keep my cushy 9-5 hagwon gig for another 8 months. God I hope I don't regret it...
"Dear Treasure Valley elementary schools,
Please hire me. I'm awesome. And if I can't have my own classroom, I'd be more than happy to accept a para position. I just want a job, in a school, working with kids.
Thank you."
The writer of said update shall remain nameless, but suffice it to say they are educated (two undergrad degrees), experienced (hello, americorps grad!) and altogether awesome. If they can't find a job, then I'm screwed with a capital S.
I think I'll keep my cushy 9-5 hagwon gig for another 8 months. God I hope I don't regret it...
It's so hot, milk was a poor choice
I forgot how much naked time summer in Seoul affords me. As a result, I'll be blogging in the nude for the next 70 days or so.
6.25.2010
The World on Time
This is why I will always and forever be FedEx's bitch:
Punctuality, efficiency, and sense of urgency in all matters of parcel delivery.
My dear friends Kevin and Krista are gettin' hitched Saturday afternoon. I dropped off their gift at my local FedEx around 6:30 PM Wednesday, 6/23. It was picked up for delivery around 1:30 Thursday afternoon. From there, that sweet little package of love and joy time traveled allllll the way back to noon, Thursday, Anchorage time. By sunup Friday morning (6/25), the parcel of joy had arrived in Boise, ready to deliver my best wishes to the happy couple.
A mere 48 hours. God, could you imagine if FedEx ran the Federal Government?
Date/Time
Activity
Location
Details
Jun 25, 2010 9:10 AM
At local FedEx facility
BOISE, ID
Jun 25, 2010 8:15 AM
At dest sort facility
BOISE, ID
Jun 25, 2010 4:12 AM
Departed FedEx location
OAKLAND, CA
Jun 25, 2010 4:11 AM
In transit
OAKLAND, CA
Jun 25, 2010 3:33 AM
In transit
OAKLAND, CA
Jun 24, 2010 9:45 PM
Arrived at FedEx location
OAKLAND, CA
Jun 24, 2010 4:44 PM
Departed FedEx location
ANCHORAGE, AK
Jun 24, 2010 1:18 PM
Int'l shipment release
ANCHORAGE, AK
Jun 24, 2010 12:11 PM
Arrived at FedEx location
ANCHORAGE, AK
Jun 24, 2010 9:11 PM
In transit
INCHEON KR
Jun 24, 2010 8:26 PM
In transit
INCHEON KR
Jun 24, 2010 5:56 PM
Left FedEx origin facility
SEOUL KR
Jun 24, 2010 1:36 PM
Picked up
SEOUL KR
Punctuality, efficiency, and sense of urgency in all matters of parcel delivery.
My dear friends Kevin and Krista are gettin' hitched Saturday afternoon. I dropped off their gift at my local FedEx around 6:30 PM Wednesday, 6/23. It was picked up for delivery around 1:30 Thursday afternoon. From there, that sweet little package of love and joy time traveled allllll the way back to noon, Thursday, Anchorage time. By sunup Friday morning (6/25), the parcel of joy had arrived in Boise, ready to deliver my best wishes to the happy couple.
A mere 48 hours. God, could you imagine if FedEx ran the Federal Government?
6.24.2010
Things to Do in Korea When You're Klassy
Awesome stuff I saw at the park tonight:
1. Two tanned and waxed Germans engaged in a photo shoot. Fully Clothed German Number 1 was lying in the middle of the bike lane taking pictures of Not So Fully Clothed German Number 2. Number 2 was perched atop a concrete divider, I assume because this afforded him the least offensive backdrop while seductively disrobing. He was tanned and smooth. How do I know? I stopped dead in my tracks to gawk, of course.
2. A mother/daughter combo playing a heated match of badminton, whilst wearing heels and baseball caps. Sadly, this is not uncommon.
3. An Eager Beaver ajumma wiping her dog's ass. She and Dog must have just gotten to the park, as Dog was in a right fit state to shit. He sniffed the grass for a few minutes, searching for the perfect spot to drop a deuce, as Eager Beaver followed his every step. Deciding on a suitable spot, Dog's body became rigid and tense in the classic "Dog Pooping" stance. But just as Dog was about to pinch off a turd nugget, Eager Beaver swooped in to catch it with her handy plastic baggy. Dog was clearly annoyed, however:
"Bitch, back up off my ass for Christ's sake. Let me shit in peace!"
Dog tried to escape Eager Beaver's clutch, but he was no match. She whipped out a wet nap and wiped Dog's ass clean.
4. Ajjoshi Massage Circle. Maybe this is the old man equivalent of a circle jerk.
Lucky for me I got to bear witness; unlucky for you I did not have my camera.
1. Two tanned and waxed Germans engaged in a photo shoot. Fully Clothed German Number 1 was lying in the middle of the bike lane taking pictures of Not So Fully Clothed German Number 2. Number 2 was perched atop a concrete divider, I assume because this afforded him the least offensive backdrop while seductively disrobing. He was tanned and smooth. How do I know? I stopped dead in my tracks to gawk, of course.
2. A mother/daughter combo playing a heated match of badminton, whilst wearing heels and baseball caps. Sadly, this is not uncommon.
3. An Eager Beaver ajumma wiping her dog's ass. She and Dog must have just gotten to the park, as Dog was in a right fit state to shit. He sniffed the grass for a few minutes, searching for the perfect spot to drop a deuce, as Eager Beaver followed his every step. Deciding on a suitable spot, Dog's body became rigid and tense in the classic "Dog Pooping" stance. But just as Dog was about to pinch off a turd nugget, Eager Beaver swooped in to catch it with her handy plastic baggy. Dog was clearly annoyed, however:
"Bitch, back up off my ass for Christ's sake. Let me shit in peace!"
Dog tried to escape Eager Beaver's clutch, but he was no match. She whipped out a wet nap and wiped Dog's ass clean.
4. Ajjoshi Massage Circle. Maybe this is the old man equivalent of a circle jerk.
Lucky for me I got to bear witness; unlucky for you I did not have my camera.
6.23.2010
The Little Engine That Almost Could
I'm great at starting things; I'm terrible at finishing things. Unless of course that thing is food. I will almost always finish food, especially if it's fried shit with cheese. (Well, not actual shit.)
I'm a bit behind, but proud nonetheless.
I'm a bit behind, but proud nonetheless.
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